


Cinderbadger

by konfuse



Category: Aschenputtel | Cinderella (Fairy Tale), Cinderella (Fairy Tale), Sengoku Basara
Genre: Alternate Univers - Fairytale, Alternate Universe, Cinderella - Freeform, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-15 18:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11811699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konfuse/pseuds/konfuse
Summary: Once having a good life, as soon as Kanbeis father marries again he has to live the life of a servant, from then on only known as "The Badger". But luckily there is a fairy godmother that will help him against the evil schemes that the badgers stepmom Hanbei is preparing.





	1. in which the Badgers misery begins

**Author's Note:**

> This was written originally three or four years ago for a dear friend.  
> Please realise that this is in now way to be taken serious. Ten Chapters to be updated almost daily. Have fun!

Once upon a time there was an infamous warlord, who had a lovely wife and a son. They lived happily together but one day the warlord's wife passed away, leaving her husband and son behind.

The son, who was rather smart, nice and quite the looker too, did his best to help his father to get over his late wife, but himself never forgot his mother. Having inherited the smarts of his mother he became the tactician for his father.

A couple of years later the warlord, Hideyoshi, met another woman. Lady... Lord... Lady... uhm... Hanbei. She... wait... no... I …. oh the fu... okay, Hanbei is a she now, for the sake of story!

So Hideyoshi met Lady Hanbei. They fell in love and soon they married.  
Hanbei and her two sons conquered... moved in the mansion. Hanbei was also smarter than Hideyoshi's son and became the new tactician on Hideyoshi's side.

And this is when Kanbei's misfortune began.

His stepmother and the two stepbrothers, Yoshitsugu and Mitsunari took away all his nice clothes and dressed him in rags.  
He had to sleep beside the oven, which is located in the basement, in the ash and soon his name was no longer Kanbei but The Badger. Since his hair grow over his eyes and his nose was always black (you know, the ash) and he lived underground, kind of.  
The Badger had to do all the work, clean the rooms, cook the meals, wash their clothes and sort out peas they threw in the ash... why they did that? I don't really know.

As a warlord Hideyoshi had to travel a lot and didn't really knew what happened in his household... to be honest he does not make the impression to be the smartest, while Hanbei is such a genius and told him whatever to explain the ass-hat behaviour... anyway.

Once again it was time for him to leave and travel to make money. So he asked his three daughters... I mean sons: „...“  
He just stared at them very intense but in a rather confused way.  
„Honey, didn't you mean to ask them something?“, Hanbei smiled at his her husband.  
„... oh yes,“ he still stared at them very intense „what do you want?“  
„That all people in the world suffer forever until one day they will pray for the reassuring embrace of death.“  
„No darling, daddy has to be able to bring it to you.“  
„Oh, I see. Pardon father and mother. Then I would like to have rare butterflies for my collection.“  
„All right and what do you want Mitsunari, my dear?“  
„A SWOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!“  
„Please don't overdo yourself“, and with an instant the temperature in her voice dropped a couple of degrees, when she asked The Badger „and what do you want? Don't make it too expensive. Don't forget how hard your father has to work for the money he uses to support this family!“

Under the bangs Kanbei gave them a look of pure confusion, 'What is wrong with them? Are they kind of stupid!? It's not fair! He's my father and I should get the rare butterflies and the sword and then kick their ass out of the mansion! It is me who deserves the best! Not them! This is so unfair!', but the step-mother's glare made him response: „All I want is the first twig, your hat streaks“ and he screamed inside 'WHAT?! WHY?! HOW?!'

Hideyoshi's forehead wrinkled:“I don't have a hat.“  
„Oh Honey, that is all right. Just take the first twig your head touches. It is a strange request but at least it is not much effort for you. So have a good travel, be careful and come back soon.“, Hanbei, her sons and The Badger waved adieu and soon Hideyoshi couldn't be seen, no more.

The family headed back into the mansion and Kanbei was send down in the hole, where he belonged.  
Unknown to all of them two birds sat in a tree nearby.

„It worked! He wished for the twig! Everything will be fine soon!“ a small white bird tweeted.  
„...“, answered the dark falcon, who sat beside her.  
„Come on, be happy!“  
„...“  
„Well, let's go tell the others so everything will be prepared in time!“  
And so the two magic birds flew off.


	2. in which everything goes according to keikaku*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Keikaku means plan

Down in his cellar, the Badger stomped from one corner to the other and threw a tantrum about why he had asked for that stupid twig?!  
„How is this possible!? Why did I ask for a twig? What am I gonna do with a twig?!“ and so on until his mother called for him. It was time to do the dishes, scrub the floor, wash the clothes, sharpen Mitsunari's sword and prepare the meal.

In between this daily routine The Badger never forgot to visit his mother's grave. Most of the time he complained about his gruesome fate but also took care of the grave and prayed to the ancestors.

Time flew by and everyone forgot about this really weird request.

Then, one day in spring warlord Hideyoshi traveled towards home. He beat the enemy and obtained the wished for presents for his two sons. All the time he had this feeling that he had forgotten something but couldn't put his finger on what it was. What was it he had forgotten?

Finally it hit him, in form of, not a twig, but a branch. It hit him literally. In the face. While he didn't pay attention to the path.  
He then remembered about his first son and the last wish.  
The good father he was, he ripped off the branch with still some tree on it. (Really that guy was huge! Not only tall, but HUGE! If it weren't for Cinderella I'm writing here he would be a giant or a troll or something. So ripping out a tree is NOTHING.)

Not long after, he came back to his mansion and was greeted by his loving wife and two of his beloved sons.  
He gave Yoshitsugu the butterflies. Big beautiful and exotic butterflies:  
„Thank you father. I think I can use the powder on this specimen to create a poison that will make everyone suffer who swallows it“ and so he went in his secret lab in his room.  
Hideyoshi then gave Mitsunari the sword:  
„Thank you Hideyoshi-sama! I'll use this sword to kill everyone who doesn't worships you as much as you deserve it!“ and so he went in his own little dojo in his room.  
Then the father gave The Badger what he wished for:  
„... What... I asked for a twig and you give me a giant branch?! How am I even supposed to transport it? This is more like a tree!“  
„How dare you complain about the present your father brought you? Be thankful, that you got something at all!“ Hanbei scold The Badger. She then turned towards her husband, pulled him in an embrace (as good as it was possible, being so tiny beside Hideyoshi) and asked  
„Now Honey, what did you bring me?! Depending on what it is you'll be very lucky tonight...“

That was when The Badger grabbed his branch and did his best to flee. Different to his two step-brothers he didn't flee to his room that was the cellar.  
He dragged the branch to his mother's grave. There he sat down, grieving his fate once again.

„What am I supposed to do with this branch anyway? Whose stupid idea was this?“  
„That wasn't a stupid idea! How ungrateful!“  
The Badger looked around but didn't saw anyone except two birds on a Tree nearby. A tiny, white one and a falcon.  
„What? Who said that?!“  
„Stop asking questions and plant the branch behind the gravestone!“  
„Why?“  
„Stop asking questions and do as told, idiot! We only want your best!“  
And with this The Badger hat the urge to plant the branch behind the gravestone and did so.  
While doing so the cursed under his breath how cruel the world was to him and even shed a few tears.  
He then went home.

The little white bird fluffed up, still watching The Badger going away.  
„Can you believe that?! How ungrateful! What an idiot!“, it said with anger in the voice.  
„...“, answered the falcon.  
„Yes, I know that he can not see the whole picture yet but maybe he should just believe a little bit in the goodwill of some beings.“  
„...“  
„Anyway, everything is going according to plan. It was a good thing, that the other two let the branch snap in Hideyoshi's face. We should go and tell everything to the fairy godmother“ and with this she started to flap with her small wings. The falcon watched it a little bit, then span his own wings, catched it in mid air and flew to the fairy godmother.


	3. Let's have a ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to help the main character!

More time passed and The Badger continued to visit his mother's grave. Strangely the branch grew to a tree and around that tree entwined Wisteria. And it blossomed in a beautiful violet. It calmed the Badger down and he felt like his fate wasn't so harsh anymore.

One day his two step-brother were very excited. Even though there were no hint yet, that this excitement would in any way affect him, The Badger had a VERY BAD FEELING about this and soon it was confirmed.  
“BADGER!” Hanbei shouted “get the good evening dresses for Mitsunari and Yoshitsugu ready! There is a big ball tonight!”  
“What? What ball?”  
“Oh dear, sure... how would you know? The king, Oda Nobunaga is giving a ball so the Princess Oichi will find a suitor, after her former fiancés tragic death. Every young man of age shall come.”  
“The demon queen? Who would want to marry her?”  
“It's not about the princess, stupid. But if we can marry in the family we finally might be able to overthrow Nobunaga and become the royal family. But don't stress your little brain with thoughts about politic. Just get the clothes for your brothers ready!”

Only a little bit confused, The Badger went to look for the good clothes so his brothers would be able to make a good impression on the ball. While doing his work a little idea crept to his mind. What if... and this was only a little 'if' but hope was rare nowadays, what if he managed to flirt with the demon queen and could become king instead of either Yoshitsugu or Mitsunari who would only be puppets of Hanbei? He would be a way better king. The only good king. He would be the best that could happen to the country after a long time of hardship under the rule of Nobunaga.  
He would be celebrated as a wise and just king who rescued them!  
And princess Oichi wasn't so bad looking so maybe it wouldn't be so awful to marry her.

All these thoughts swept through his mind while he ironed the clothes for his stepbrothers.  
Oh, if he only would have had paid more attention to the task at hand, but so it happened what had to happen and he burned Mitsunari's fine shirt.

In panic The Badger tried his best to cover up the ugly stain but as soon as Mitsunari took hand at his shirt he saw the burn and raged in a way, unknown before (and this means something! You know Mitsunari wasn't known for being very patient. He would become angry about everything. You make little bit too much noise? Run for your life! You dare to tell a joke about his family – minus Kanbei? RUN! RUN LIKE NEVER BEFORE! You touch his things without permission? GOD BE WITH YOU RUN EVEN FASTER! And should you ever dare to insult Hideyoshi... you better write down your last will. Fast!)

The Badger was scared and only thanks to Hanbei he was spared. Not because his stepmother would like him to survive but she wouldn't like to lose a free worker.  
“There is still time until the ball,” Hanbei said with cold eyes “You better find a way to remove this stain or I won't be able to help you anymore.”

But Kanbei was also angry. Very angry. It was their fault after all! If they wouldn't have come to his house and made him a maid and made him do things like iron their stupid shirts he wouldn't have burned it and this mess would have never happened. And this is why he said the following:  
“If I manage to remove it, I want to go to the ball too!”

His step family looked at him as if he has finally snapped.  
“He really is quite fascinating sometimes,” Yoshitsugu remarked.  
“THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Mitsunari shouted.  
“We'll see about that,” Hanbei finally said.  
“MOTHER!” both stepbrothers cried out. Hanbei lifted a hand and both became silent.  
“We'll see about that. First clean the shirt.”  
“I will!” The Badger bawled, took the shirt and ran out.

Not really knowing what to do he ran to the only place he cared about, his mother's grave, sat down by it and started to think and pray.

And again there were the two birds, the small white one and the falcon.  
“Maybe you should go and bring the fairy godmother. This is serious.”  
And off was the falcon, while the small white bird took pity in that bold but nearly broken man, that sat by the grave not knowing what to do.  
Well he could try to clean it with soap or to buy a new one or to repair it or something instead of crying but still... she felt sorry for The Badger.

Within Minutes the falcon was back and with him two other birds, a white owl and a black raven, and The Fairy Godmother.  
“Heads up, young Badger! I'll help you! Together we can conquer the world!” an old voice said.  
“What?”  
“I'm Ujimasa your fairy godmother!”  
“WHAT?!” he saw a short, old man in purple clothes. In one hand he had a lamp on a long stick. The other behind his back. A warm smile on his face. He stood in front of the grave and behind him the four birds.  
The Badger jumped to his feet, rubbing his eyes:“What..? How...? Why...? What?”  
“He's not the smartest, is he?”, whispered the small white bird to the others.  
“Well, this is a long story. I'll tell you another time but first we need to clean the shirt, don't we?” Ujimasa answered and with that the burned stain was gone.  
Kanbei couldn't believe his eyes. In his hands was a clean shirt, as good as new and without any stains.

“Very well. We still have some time before you have to head back. So maybe we should take a seat and have some tea. Would you little birds please take care for that?”  
With this the falcon was gone while the white owl scolded at the old man.  
“Why should I serve you tea? You're not master Kenshin! I want to go back to master Kenshin! He should not have lend me to you!”  
“'Oh Kenshin! You're so handsome! You're all I ever care for!',” the raven mocked “Maybe you should look for someone else, if he gives you away so easily?”  
Was the raven flirting with the owl?  
“I'll serve the tea!”, the little bird chirped.  
“YOU'RE THE VOICE FROM BEFORE!” The Badger pointed an accusing finger to the little white bird.  
“I see we have a lot to explain,” the fairy godmother sighed.


	4. Bring it on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to challenge the family!

“Only to get this straight...” The Badger looked to the old man in front of him. They sat by the grave on a blanket, brought by the falcon. It also had brought the tea and some sweets. The owl and the raven were bickering all the time and the little white bird was overall enthusiastic, especially towards the falcon. “You're my fairy godmother? But actually you're an ancestor of my late mother and here to help me? And these four birds are your little helpers?”  
The old man took a sip of the tea.  
“Yes.”  
“So you're a ghost?”  
“Kind of.”  
“And the birds?”  
“The are alive, but magic birds.”  
“And this is why they can talk?”  
“Yes. All of them. Except for Kotaro. I guess he can talk but he never does.”

The Badger looked at his own tea, trying to make sense with all of this.  
“But why did you never help me before?”  
“Oh we did.”  
“What? When? How?”  
“It was us, who made you wish for the twig from your father. And it was us who made it grow so fast.”  
“You're kidding, right?” The Badgers face showed pure disbelief. “How was that supposed to help me? Couldn't you have given me more strength or a weapon so I could free myself from my evil family? Or I don't know! ANYTHING!! YOU HAVE TO KID ME BECAUSE HOW IS THIS EVER SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?!”  
“How dare you talk this way to your fairy godmother!?” the little white bird jumped up and down and fluffed itself to look bigger. “Be more thankful! You can't see the greater picture like him, you idiot!”  
The Badger glared at the bird.

“There, there.”, Ujismasa made a calming gesture, while the little bird tried to duck behind the tea pot. “Don't be so angry Badger. Didn't this tree calmed you when you were upset?”  
“Well, yes...”  
“And didn't it bring you inner peace?”  
“... yes?”  
“What you can't see is, that it is also a place where the birds can sit and watch over you. It was them, who called me for now is the time to actively help you.”

And so the Fairy Godmother explained the plan, very similar to the Badgers own, to win over the princess on the ball tonight and to make him the King of Basara-Kingdom.  
And he promised, that no matter what hardship his family would put him through, the fairy godmother and the helper would be there for him.

When the Badger went home, some time later he was still confused. But hopeful. He had friends after all. Weird, magical friends, but friends nonetheless.  
And who else could say they had that?

And with his head high he went home and presented the clean shirt, while his family looked at him in disbelief.  
“How did you do that?”, Hanbei looked at the clean shirt.  
The Badger smiled superior “That is a secret.”  
And it was clear as water (To make it clear (haha) we're talking about water, when it comes out of the mountain after it had a long way through the earth and is filtered as good as possible. And not this stuff you get, when someone throws a dead poisonous snake in it, or something. I don't want to accuse someone, but I'm looking in your direction Mitsuhide!) that Hanbei did not like this answer.  
“A secret, huh? Well honey. That is all right. Keep your little secret.”  
“Don't forget your promise! When I clean the shirt I'm allowed to go to the ball!”  
“I said we'll see about that. No more, no less.”  
“WHAT?! YOU PROMISED!”  
“I did not. But you still have a chance.”  
“MOTHER!!”, the stepbrothers shouted.  
“Silence,” Hanbei looked at the Badger. “You still have a lot of things to do before the ball begins with only a couple hours of time left. If you manage to fullfill your normal duty and this additional tasks, I'll allow you to come with us to the ball.”

The brothers gasped in unison. The Badger closed his fists, ready to start shouting and punching if he felt like it, what he did, but then...  
… a plan formed inside his head. Didn't he just gained magical friends? Didn't they said that they would help him to get to the ball and win over the princess?  
Yes they did and so the Badgers face, first angry and full of fury now calmed down and showed a confidently smile.  
“You're on,” and with that he went away in his little cellar to start with his usual tasks.

Behind him Hanbei looked like she saw a ghost. What was this? Why was he so confident? That couldn't be right.  
“Oh yes. I'm on it. You won't make it, idiot!” he murmured and then looked at his sons.  
“Well, well, my dears. Let's get your two ready for the ball and then we'll think about some impossible tasks. How does this sound?”  
“Very delightful, mother.”  
“RATJKALJHLAJAL”  
“All right!” and with a smile she took care of her beloved sons.


	5. What a mess!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The good ones go into the pot, the bad ones go into your crop.

In high spirits the Badger looked at the clean clothes, that would now dry in the wind.  
The cellar was clean, the food prepared. He had already cleaned all the rooms and even was able to run off when Mitsunari had one of his fits.  
The work wasn't as hard as usual. Maybe the magic already worked? Did he dare to become excited... all right! He chuckled silently.

“What is so funny, dear?”  
He turned so fast he nearly fell over.  
“HANBEI!”  
“Don't call me that! It's mother.”  
The Badger didn't answer  
“As I can see you finished all your work. Well done.”  
A slight smile could be seen on the Badgers dirty face.  
“But sadly I dropped some peas... and some beans... and some ash... and a hole sack of flour... and another sack of rice … and not to forget the sand that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and was also dropped on the mess. Ah, silly me. Well it's your task to sort everything.”  
“WHAT?!”  
“You'll find it in your room.”  
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”  
“Oh, and we'll leave in 2 hours and you don't have something to dress in yet. What a pity. It seems like you can't come with us. See you later”  
“... WHYYYYYY?!”  
The stepmother was already walking away and then stopped to look at him again.  
After a long look towards the devastated stepson she answered “Why not?” and finally went away.

There was the Badger, sitting on the ground, too stunned to realise that valuable time was passing, mourning his fate.  
He didn't knew how much time had passed (but it wasn't long. Only a few minutes) when he felt something nip on his hand. There was the little white bird trying to encourage him... or to pick him to death. But if that was the plan it wouldn't work out. The picking did not hurt at all.  
The bird looked up to the Badger “Don't worry. We'll help you.” and there were the other birds and also his fairy godmother smiling at him.  
That was right. He wasn't alone. There were birds who could help... however they would help... and this old ghost who could do magic.

“Maybe you're not as annoying as I thought you are, little white bird.”  
“WHO'S ANNOYING?!” it flew on his head and now really tried to pick him to death “AND I'M LITTLE CRANE!!!”  
“You're not a crane... whatever. Let's do this!”  
And he dashed towards his cellar-room full with high spirits until he saw the mess. The pile was gigantic! It got nearly up to the roof of the little room... it was also quite irritating that the walls were white, thanks to the flour.

“Don't worry, my friend” the Badger could feel a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “These birds will sort it out in no time. It's really amazing. All we need are container for the ingredients.”  
“All right!” he took a fast look through the room, there were the sacks and boxes who were used to bring all the mess into the room. And then it started.

Later the Badger couldn't explain what happened. He just sat there, trying to not get in the way while three shadows did their best to put everything in the place where it belonged.  
Even the little white one tried to help. Way slower and not as efficient but still it tried it's best.  
Ujimasa was sitting next to Kanbei, laughing and drinking tea, talking about the outfit Kanbei would get for the ball tonight.  
“How about a suit, black with a light-brown shirt and a dark-brown tie. That would look good. Or maybe something more classic? A swallowtail. But not in black. In brown or dark blue. Or something traditional. Maybe something completely different...”

Even though the birds were amazingly fast, it was possible to see the pile shrink, it took the two full hours to finish. The last half hour everyone helped.  
Even Ujimasa did his best to pick up the rice and the beans and to put them in their destined place.

And within the last minute (you know because it's more thrilling like this) the last grain of sand and the last bit of ash was sorted and everything was clean again.

“Well done everyone!” Ujimasa exclaimed “Go Badger and say you finished your task!” and the Badger ran to his mother and screamed  
“I DID IT!?”  
“What are you yelling about?” Hanbei looked at him quite confused his sons already dressed in their best clothes.  
“I sorted everything! Now I can go to the ball with you guys!”  
“Sure you can, dear” Hanbei said with such a sugary voice, that the Badger suddenly became more aware of his surroundings. 'Don't trust stepmother'  
“But look at you. All dirty and no clean clothes. We can't take you with us, looking like this.”

No way! This was mother's plan all along? To have the Badger take care of everything, clean everything but himself? He looked at his hands and clothes and they were dark because of the ash and stains of flour were all over his clothes.  
He glared angry at the three people in front of him, considering if it was a good idea to just go straight ahead and punch them in their smiling faces.  
But decided against it... there was something they didn't know and that was his magical help. So he only clenched his fists and took a step back, not showing any sight of the little hope he had.

And with a mean laughter his stepfamily went outside and into a carriage that took them to castle Nobunaga and the ball.  
The badger went down in this cellar again where his fairy godmother and the four birds awaited him


	6. The dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A perfect dress for a handsome man.

The birds looked at him with pity but also reassuring.  
“Don't worry, we have this!”, the raven said while looking cool and the owl rolled her eyes on this remark.  
“Yeah, you tell them mister clown...” the owl gave the Badger an annoyed stare “You better start cleaning yourself we'll take care of your clothes.”

Thus the Badger went off to take a bath, cleaning himself, scrubbing away the dirt of, what felt like years of oppression.

After an hour he came back to his room, not wearing anything. Why should he? He was alone, except for a bunch of birds and an old ghost. Also there would be no need to bother for clothing, right before wearing the dress for the ball.

When he entered the room (completely naked! Remember that! Maybe even enjoy the thought. I won't judge you ;D) he was taken aback to not see four birds and an old man but a bunch of people.  
The Badgers first reaction was to scream and hide his sex behind his hands. Simultaneous one of the red haired man dashed forward to hold his hands in front of the smaller girl that asked “What's happening?”.  
Meanwhile the other two were still talking to each other  
“I really like your human form, Kasuga. It's so... exciting.”  
“OH SHUT IT, SASUKE!”  
“Couldn't you be a little bit more like little Crane? More devoted towards me?”  
“I SAID, SHUT IT!”  
Finally, they became aware of the Badger, the red haired man called Sasuke started to laugh and finally the young woman with the rather revealing clothes stared at Badger coldly and angry.  
“Don't be such a wuss! But put these on,” she threw the Badger a pair of undies, “or else Little Crane won't be able to help!”  
“Oi, Kasuga!” the laughing man teased “Is there a tint of red in your face? Come on... are you embarrassed?”  
“It's because I'm angry but it will be better after I rearranged your face, Sasuke!”

While these two bickered with each other and the girl continued to whine, that she wants to know what's going on, the Badger put on the underwear.  
After the first shock he realised, that those people were indeed, the birds. But it would have been nice to know this beforehand. BEFORE he walked into his room and being greeted by some people he didn't expect.

Really. This whole thing was getting more and more exhausting. After a moment he stepped back into his cellar, still a little bit red in his face but also angry.

“Excuse them,” Ujimasa said, sitting on a chair in the corner “they are some little rascals. But they really know how to get the job done.”  
“Is that so?” one could hear the scepticism in his voice. And one couldn't really judge him for that.  
Kasuga was trying to kill Sasuke while he dodged nearly all of her hits, still laughing and little Crane seemed to be on cloud seven, trying to hug Kotaro who dodged all of her attempts.  
“Indeed they are,”the fairy godmother smiled bright, ”always so energetic and willing to help. Hey my little helper! Concentration please!”  
It took a few moments until they calmed down.

Finally Kasuga looked at the Badger again.  
“ALL RIGHT!” she bristled with anger. “You go up here!”  
Suddenly a platform appeared in the middle of the cellar-room ('Yay magic,' said the author).  
Rather reluctant, the Badger stepped on the platform not really sure if this was a good idea at all.  
“As I said before, don't be such a wuss! I know what I'm doing,” she repeated and took a deep breath. “You just stay still and we'll make the clothes. Any preference?”  
“Uhm..?”  
“No? Good.”  
And thus the magic (Author: YAY!) started. The girls mumbled and drew lines in thin air, that glowed slightly.  
Didn't feel so bad. Kinda warm. Slowly the clothes manifested.  
„Looking good!“ Sasuke was sitting casually in the air, only one leg on the ground... what?  
Kasuga looked pleased, wiping some sweat from her forehead. Tsuruhime let herself fall on the floor exhausted but with a smile.  
Ujimasa smiled too „I have to agree, the girls did a really good job.“  
The Badger looked down. What he could see wasn't so bad. Kind of traditional, not flashy, comfortable.  
Out of nowhere appeared a mirror and he could see his full self. Damn, was he looking good! (As said in chapter one, he was quite the looker too.) He had nearly forgotten about this, thanks to his awful family who only gave him ragged clothes and only allowed him to bath once a month.  
New confidence swept over the Badger. If he couldn't win over the princess with this smile and this clothes, no one could!  
„Thank you gals! This is awesome! I can't remember when I looked this good last time!“ he looked towards the other who were again all birds.  
„That's our job. Don't mention it.“  
„Yes! You're welcome!“  
„Well, well! Since your outfit is complete, we'll have to find a way to bring you to the ball, don't we?“ Ujimasa stood up and knocked some dust off his clothes. „How about a pumpkin and some mice? Kotaro, would you take care of it? Please don't eat them. I would send Kasuga with you but she already did quite some work.  
„...“ answered Kotaro and disappeared, only leaving a couple of dark feathers.  
„So, Badger. Do you have a pumpkin somewhere?“  
„... I don't know?“  
„Well, this might make things more complicated. We'll find something else!“  
The raven spread his right wing in the air: „I think I saw something good on the field“  
„We need to go outside anyway. So let's go.“  
The fairy godmother took the little white bird on his shoulder and let Kasuga fly on his arm.  
Sasuke flew out of the door, Ujimasa followed slowly. The Badger glanced a last time in the mirror.  
A smile crept on his face. Than he went upstairs.


	7. Carry on!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we need a carriage for the handsome hero!

The group stood on the field, Sasuke picking on something that kind of looked like a dead animal. The Badger decided to not think further about it.  
Fairy Godmother Ujimasa was walking around, mumbling to himself, looking for something he might be able to change into a carriage.  
A deed not as easy as it might sound. Most of the vegetables were aubergine and leek. In the distance you could see a farmer who gave the group suspicious looks.  
„We shouldn't be on the field. If we try to pick something up, the farmer will kick our ass.“  
„Why would he do that?“, Kasuga fluffed up a little bit, sitting on the Badgers shoulder.  
„He loves vegetables. Even though we don't pay him he always comes and is taking care. Whenever I try to harvest the vegetables too early, he will shout at me.“  
„How weird.“, the owl closed her eyes.

While Badger and Kasuga stood behind, Ujimasa and Little Crane strolled around the field, slowly nearing the farmer at the far end. It took them quite a while, until they reached him.  
(I mind you, Fairy Godmother Ujimasa is rather old and looking very closely at the vegetables. He also tried to not walk onto any of the goods. That wouldn't be very disrespectful towards the little ghosts that live inside all plants, you know? Magic and stuff.)  
The two left behind could see when they started talking, gesturing and laughing?  
Thus they wondered, what Ujimasa was up to, in his wisdom to ask a mere farmer for advice.

Some time later he came back to share what he got to know, while the farmer in background left.  
„So, it seems the best chance we have is to get a melon. They are on the next field.“, the group started walking.  
„Sasuke! Stop eating and get over here!“ Kasuga shouted  
„Anyway, we need to find a ripe fruit or else the farmer will come and get you, Kanbei.“  
„WHAT?! WHY?!“  
„He said he knows where you live. He would have come with us but he needs to attend some kind of event tonight, or something. So we'll have to take care of this ourselves.“  
„Really now? Great.“ the Badger huffed.

It didn't took them long and they stood in the middle of a field with lots and lots of melons.  
Sasuke was jumping from one to the next: „So, how do we know which melon is ripe and which is not?“  
„No idea.“  
„Oh. Great. Just great.“  
The group stood around, clueless what to do. But there is still a joker!  
Out of nowhere Kotaro appeared, two mice in his claws. He let them fall into Ujimasas Hands, who carefully entrapped them. The falcon then flew a couple of times around the field and then landed on a melon, one could think to see a little star flying away from him.  
The others strolled over to him.  
„Well done Kotaro. Well done.“ fairy godmother gave the Badger the mice, who carefully hold them on their tails.  
„Kotaro is so awesome! He is the best. He knows everything and whatever he does, he does perfect!“ Little Crane jumped up and down, very excited.  
„Poser.“  
Suddenly The Badger heard a rough voice on his ear „Gimme these mice...“  
A shudder ran down The Badgers spine and with fear he looked at the owl on his shoulder.  
„Give them to me. I won't harm them... much.“  
„NO! We need them!“  
„Tse. And for you I used my magic. I'm tired and awake in the middle of the day. Ungrateful!“ she mumbled.

„Get over here!“ little crane shouted „Ujimasa is going to start!“  
The group gathered at the melon. All the birds sat down on Kanbei (shoulders, head, one on the arm) while Ujimasa rolled up his sleeves and circled the melon.  
„Now take a good look at how really powerful magic works!“  
Out of nowhere the Staff with the lamp appeared and he put a burning... hat... let's say it's a hat... a wizard hat, a cool one!... on his head. Then he cast a ghost, that instantly possessed his head... too.  
All in all it was a very weird sight.

And thus the magic started.  
The melon grew, and windows appeared, the roots slowly changed into wheels and pattern on the melon. The carriage itself stayed a light green but became big enough to carry at least four people.  
It was quite an impressive sight.  
When it was finished, Ujimasa turned to The Badger and the birds.  
„Kotaro, Sasuke you'll be coachman and attend too. Kasuga, Tsuruhime please make them some nice clothes. Badger please hand over the mice.“  
He did as told and it wasn't long after and where the mice were before stood two brown steeds.

With disbelief The Badger looked at the cart, the steeds, the two men-birds in fine clothes, acting as his servants. He looked down at his own fine clothes, that were tailored with magic. And he looked in the face of his old-man fairy godmother and the two women-birds who smiled at him. This all couldn't be true. But it was.  
And with a happy cry he got into the cart.

Sasuke and Kotaro jumped on the carriage, and the two mice-horses started to trot to the path, onwards to the castle.

This night would become a very special night.


	8. Let's get the party started in here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Badger arrives at the ball

The king was bored. Very bored. What didn't he do to make sure that his sister got a husband that he could use as a puppet and maybe as a sacrifice to get demonic powers... later. It was a pity that the princess didn't seem to be interested in anyone on this lousy ball.  
Maybe it was too soon. Her former fiancé was already dead for a couple of weeks. That was more than enough time. The king needs that sacrifice, after all.  
„Herfndarpf nerp derp?“, he asked his sister (okay I need to clear something up here. The kings speech was so unclear that no one could understand him. I mean he sounded like a drunk hobo all the time and on this evening he already had a glass of wine. This does not mean that he was drunk but he sounded even more drunk... maybe that was only my impression but since I'm telling this story it is me who decides this.)

„No...,brother...“, the princess sighed (okay she could understand her brother!)  
The princess didn't want this, because she was still doleful about her late fiancé. His tragic accident, caused by a couple of arrows and bullets right in his body wasn't so long ago. Since then a never ending sadness had taken a tight grip around her body and mind.  
She was sure, her brother only wanted her best, trying to take off her thoughts from the man she loved, and maybe she would find someone she could love again. But right now she just needed more time to grief.  
Instead she had to attend this ball and look for a new fiancé. It made sense. Maybe. Political stuff. She didn't really care for it.  
But as much as she could see there was no one even remotely interesting on this ball. All they did was talking in little groups, looking at each other, trying not to bond at all but waiting for the right moment to jump at each other's throat.  
It is a depressing sight.  
„Herfndarpf nerp derp?“  
„It is just, look at all those people who are not even here for me. They just want to beat each other and don't care for anything else...they only long for more power...“  
One could almost see the dark string of depression emitting from the Princess. This did cause some confusion between the guests, when the light started to flicker and the music stopped.  
But it was soon over and again one could hear the usual silent murmur and see the guests lurking at each other.

Well enough depressing stuff, time to take a look at the door and see our heroes entrance!  
The pressure in the air seemed to thicken and then, the door opened slowly. Everyone took a turn to look at the giant door, inch by inch the crack grew wider... in the distant some screeching, thrilling, hysteric music could be heard...

„LET'S ALL BOND!“  
Wait a second! That's not The Badger!  
„Move out of the way you lunatic!“  
Oh there he is.  
The Badger tried to shove the first entree out of the way, who only laughed and went into the ballroom, followed by a gigantic robot. (interestingly enough no one really noticed or questioned the existence of a robot in a medieval fairytale)  
The Badger meanwhile tried to recover from the fact, that a giant Robot just shoved him out of the way to follow the yellow-clad guy.  
Why the hell was there a robot anyway? On the other side he wore magic made clothing and was taken here inside a magic build carriage. So, whatever. Now, where is that princess so desperate for a husbando?!  
Ah! Over there! Well not bad looking, just like he remembered. But she didn't look like she was having fun. No wonder. Look at those people who attended this farce!  
First of all his family! Mother Hanbei did her best to be talkative. Especially towards the kings family. But the Badger guessed that she wouldn't have much success. His stepbrothers didn't act like they were into the princess at all. No... Mitsunari seemed to try to cut the guy who arrived with the Badger. But the yellow guy just laughed and had fun while fighting in the ball-room. Not that it would have disturbed anyone... there was hardly any dancing at all.  
This was until both were kicked out by the head guard. The red-haired woman was followed by a guy who wore very grotesque clothing, considering that they were attending the royal ball. They were pretty colourful... too colourful.  
Anyway since that guy seemed more into the scary looking head guard he was no competition for the hand of the princess, Kanbei decided.

He glanced towards her while slowly crossing the room. Were there tentacles coming out from under her feet?! No... no... surely not. Must have been his imagination.  
He continued to look at the other guests.  
There was the crazy neighbour. The guy had a tendency to ride through the lands and shout stuff about guns and parties while using six swords for fighting! Crazy idiot. Wait a second... isn't that guy at his side the farmer? The one who scared The Badger all the time for not taking enough care of the vegetables? The one who allowed them to use the melon for the carriage? The badger shook his head. Unbelievable! Such an important person, the general of Lord Masamune was their best farmer. Crazy world.  
But what else do we have? A very angry little man, all clothed in green. The Badger didn't like him in an instant. He also felt antipathy towards almost everyone here.  
All these lords and la... la... oh yeah! Over there were a couple of women. Maybe. Well all of them would have ridiculed him for the fact that a random family overtook his house and made him a maid. But he would show them all! He would get the beautiful princess and he would become their king!  
„You new name should be Joe C!“  
„What?“  
„Lord Xavi promises freedom and peace to all his followers! Come join us!“  
„Leave me alone!“  
Why were only crazy people living around here, the Badger wondered as he hurried away from the crazy kid, towards the king and his family.  
It sure seemed like something would happen soon.


	9. Love is in the air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to propose to a princess.

Before the Badger could reach the princess, the king used a little spoon to bump against the skull he used as a glass, trying to get the attention of the guests.  
Since the noise a spoon against a skull is not that loud (don't ask why I know that), he decided to just talk as loud as possible, so everyone in this room would pay attention.

#### “Herfndarpf nerp derp!DERP Nerf nerpa derf!Herf derpderpnaarp!”

Silence.  
The king was satisfied with this, mistaking the silence for attention when everyone was just confused to no end. The people gave each other confused looks, not sure how to react to this... speech.... even Mitsunari and the Bond-guy (not having a Walther PPK with him - hahahahah!) stopped fighting, weird out by this.

The princess decided to help these poor unfortunate souls.  
“The dance shall begin...”, she stood up, going to the next person in reach, The Badger (how convenient), and strolled towards the dance floor.  
There being a lack of females, not many people started to dance with them. Actually they were the only ones on the dance floor.  
In awkward silence (not romantic...or was it? If you ship it: yes, if not: no) they danced, with everyone keeping a jealous eye on them. Trying to desperately keep his mind off the fact that his family was watching and maybe recognizing him, the badger started to do a light conversation with the princess:  
“So, how is it going?”  
She looked up to him in confusion “What kind of question is that, asking someone who just lost her fiancé?”  
“You're right. Not a good way to start a conversation... uhm... so do you look forward to find a new husband?”  
Her look of confusion became stronger.  
“You look good tonight?” this was his last attempt to woo the princess over. He realised that his good looks alone might not make him the new king. He also realised that he did not really know how to talk to women. No wonder! He couldn't even remember his real mother and the only other women he ever talked to were birds. (What is wrong with this country?)  
Thinking about them, he felt feathers on the side of his neck.  
“Don't worry, I'll help you!”  
'Bouncing bird ball?', he thought  
“The name is Little crane! Thank you, idiot!”, the little fluffy bird answered, not heard or seen by anyone else, thanks to some kind of magic.  
“You're not a crane!”  
“I am what?” confusion could not even start to describe the face princess Oichi made. Now she even looked kinda hurt.  
Instantly the Badger felt guilty “No! Not you! I mean... you're not a crane! Cranes can never be so beautiful?”  
“Yes?”, she sounded surprised.  
“Well... yes!”, seemed like he said something right.  
Little crane decided to interfere: “Did you even tell her your name, idiot?”  
“Oh... by the way I'm The Ba... Kanbei.”  
“You look troubled. But determined. Why are you here?”  
“I'm here because...”  
“DON'T YOU DARE TELL HER YOU'RE HERE FOR REVENGE!”  
This scream made his brain hurt but the shock worked just fine.  
“... I wanted to get to know you.”  
“Good one! I'm proud of you, idiot.”, Little Crane fluffed a little bit.  
“You don't have to lie to me. I can see you're not here because of me. No one is here because of me.”  
Suddenly the behaviour of the bird changed “Ohhh... poor little princess. You're an ass Badger! Why are you so selfish?”  
“Well... uhm... err... princess, I'm sure someone”, he looked around, “is here for you... I mean... even though it does not look like it...”  
His eyes stopped at his partner and all he could see was a young broken woman and he felt sorry for her. “Look. I'm sorry. But let me be honest with you: marrying you would give a guy a lot of power. This is what they are after, including me. Maybe you should just not marry anyone until you find someone to love again. Why are you looking for a husband anyway? Isn't the death of your fiancé just a few week ago? Shouldn't you wait a year or something?”  
“You... you're right... but brother...”  
“Whoa!” Now this time The Badger was sure to not imagine things. There were tentacles or hands or something coming from the princess , “what is happening?”  
“I... I'm sorry... normally people can't see them... this happens when I lose myself in thoughts.”  
The Badger really felt sorry for this woman. And a little bit scared.  
“Okay, I don't know if I'm right with this but it sounds like your brother wants you to find a man for whatever reason. And one does not simply objects the king. So please, listen to my plan and then decide if YOU want to agree or not.”, they made a few dancing steps, and the princess looked again at The Badger. He decided again that the best course would be to be honest with her “Marry me. Not out of love but because I will be a good husband. You could have it worse. Me too. I'll at least take care of you and try to help you. If you ever find a man to love again I won't stand in your way. All I want from you is the chance to free myself from my family too. Decide for yourself. I do understand if you say no. This is probably not the most romantic way to propose.”  
“Wow, idiot! Do you really think this will work?”, the Badger could hear the chirping words and decide to ignore it.  
“Yes.”  
“What?”, The Badger asked.  
“What?”, Little Crane asked.

“I mean...”, the princess looked down again, “... you're right. You would be the best choice. But this is also the reason I can't marry you. My husband won't be alive for too long, for my brother wants to sacrifice him.”  
This was quite the revelation and The Badger wanted to ask a lot more questions but this moment the music stopped and before he could react any other way his step-mother dragged him to the end of the room while someone else started to dance with the princess.  
“BADGER! What are you doing here?”  
“Mother! You don't understand she said something about...”  
“Shut it! You're going home and clean the castle now and Mitsunari is going to marry her!”  
Right this moment the Badger was almost willing to go and let the king kill off Mitsunari. Why should he care? Why should he care that any of these idiots was going to die? But then he remembered that he might not care for his awful family but for the poor, poor princess who was just a cue ball for her brother's shenanigans.  
“I like what you think, Badger” Little Crane chirped “Be a hero! A knight in shining armour! A knight-hero or something! I'll go catch the others and we'll take care of the evil king!”, little crane flew away and for the moment the Badger was alone and found his courage.  
“YOU SHUT IT HANBEI!”  
“WHAT?!”  
“GO AWAY!” and with that our hero walked right towards the princess who looked like she had even less fun dancing with the Badgers step-brother.

This moment a lot of things happened.  
For example did The Badger grab Mitsunari's shoulder and wanted to punch him. At the same time the lunatic who called The Badger “Joe C” talked to the small, scary looking guy in green. All the same the head guard tried to fight off the hippie in the colourful clothes, who swooned all over her.  
The most important thing that happened though was that the king lost his patience and decided that it would be better to just sacrifice everyone attending the ball instead of just the maybe-husband.

And what happened then we'll learn next week. Or next chapter. Which is just a day away! (Because this is not a fairytale anymore but an anime)


	10. Holding out for a hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight and a happy end

Hell broke loose! And again we're speaking literally!  
The demon king unleashed his hell-hounds, which were his wife (a slim woman which still could lift a Gatling-Gun), a little archer boy (… yeah. I don't know much about him except that he likes sweets?), someone who looked like the clone of a successful game franchise (wielding two battle scythes) and the demon king himself.  
Even the head guard and her people started to walk into the guests and fought them, though not with the same enthusiasm as the real demon hounds.  
Luckily the guests weren't just a bunch of lords and... lords, which only danced and talked. No, Sir! Those were battle-lords! And you know what this means! B-B-B-B-B-Boss Battle!  
And chaos.  
Mostly that.  
The Badger didn't had much time to react but let his instinct overtake, let his step-brother be and grabbed the princess to shield her from harm. He somehow managed to lift her up and brought her back to the door, dodging bullets, swords and a tank that played awful chants (really now? What is wrong in that world?).  
Just as they arrived behind a barricade of tables, save for now, the door opened and in came... *drum plz*... prince Nagamasa?! Princess Oichi's former financé everyone thought to be dead?!

After that everything turned even more chaotic. I would love to describe every single punch, hit, Basara but I suck pretty hard at this so let me paint you another picture:  
Ducklings.  
Flowers.  
Rainbows.  
A unicorn.  
Every single one of them frolic along a beach in the sunset (yes even the rainbow and the flowers). You're welcome.

It took some time but sooner or later our heroes … that is... everyone who is not on the king's side... won this fearsome battle!  
They finally beat up everyone evil (king, queen, child, Sephiroth-clone) and took the head guard prisoner. (The colourful peacock-guy wouldn't have allowed any harm to her).  
And in the after-match, between all the chaos we had a beautiful scene (even more beautiful than the one before) when two lovers found each other again.  
Oh my, a really cute scene that I'm also not able to describe... I guess I shouldn't write fanfictions...  
it was cute but also awkward and everyone turned away quite confused and gave them some time.  
After a few moments The Badger cleared his throat. He had been the one who had taken care of the princess since she fainted after she saw her not-dead-financé. He had been taken care that the people did not get crashed when she used her strange black hands to fight and safe the prince.  
And now it was The Badger who asked the question that everyone burned to ask:“What the hell is going on here?”  
“I'm sorry friend,” the Nagamasa said “I guess we should explain this whole situation”  
“YES! Please!”  
“I guess, I can help here...”, the guy in yellow answered, “I am Ieyasu, Lord of a little country in the east and I and my fairy godmother here...” he gestured towards the giant robot man “... came by just as Nagamasa was taking his final breath and we rescued him. With magic.”  
There was a silent agreeing murmur in the room.  
“Wait... does anyone wonder why there is a fairy godmother or magic at all?”  
Everyone ignored The Badger.  
“So, after we learned the truth, that he was supposed to be dead because his brother-in-law wanted to sacrifice him and that he had a financé we decided to take part at the event.  
We wanted to rescue the princess but found that it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. A certain someone danced with her all night.”  
“... what?”  
“... what?! We didn't knew about this plan!” Suddenly little crane.  
“Anyway it was a pity that I met with my old pal Mitsunari...”, Ieyasu gestured towards Mitsunari.  
“We're no pals, IEYASUUUUUU!”  
“... and I didn't have the time to get to the princess. And before we could finish our plan the king decided to act faster than we imagined. But thanks to everyone in this room we could beat him and the princess is safe and sound in her husband's arms! Hooray!”  
And everyone cheered and was totally in-character.  
This was when the real party started. The evil king and his friends were put into jail and later convicted.  
Even more later, The Badger had a drink in the hand, stood in the corner, beside him were four birds in human form and his old fairy godmother, with a drink too.  
“I don't get it. What is going on here?”  
“Just don't think about it. It's a party. A really good party.”  
Mitsunari decided to use this moment to rave by.  
“But none of this makes sense! Everyone knew about magic and fairy godmothers and I didn't knew any about this. And then this whole plan! Little crane said that you guys didn't knew about this. Do you fairy godmothers know about each other? The whole story... is so... weird.”  
“Well it was because I got the message too late. I'm sorry, my boy. But look at it this way: everything turned out fine.”  
The badger took a sip of his drink. Contemplating his situation.  
Actually nothing had changed for him. Right now his step-family danced but as soon as they went home he would have to return to his miserable life of serving them and it left a bitter feeling in his stomach.  
“Everything turned out well for them!”  
“I said it before! You should trust us!”, the little girl who was little crane as a human shot the badger an angry look.

This moment the happy couple went towards him, beside them the yellow-guy Ieyasu.  
“Sir Kanbei,” it was weird to hear his name said, no less by the prince, “thank you for everything you did. Without you this fight would have had a lot more casualties. And the injustice would have been unbearable...”  
“Thank you, Kanbei!” princess Oichi hugged him. When the situation was awkward before it now became super duper awkward. He patted her on the back. “Yeah... no problem...”  
It was then, that Ieyasu stepped forward.  
“As a thank you, the princess and prince also known as future king and queen, decided to give your family a new shire.”  
“Why are YOU telling me that?” Kanbei tried his best to get the princess off of him without touching her in inappropriate places while the prince still mumbled about honour.  
“Lady Oichi and Lord Nagamasa asked me to become the new duke.”  
“Good for you, I guess.”, The Badger somehow managed to navigate the princess back at the side of her future husband.”And good for my family. I'm looking forward to serve them somewhere else than the place of my birth.”  
“Oh, we heard about your misfortune.”, Ieyasu gave a quick glance towards the human birds and the fairy godmother. “You'll have to stay behind in the place you call your home because the king and queen might need your help.”  
“I... oh.”

After this everything happened quite fast. Kanbei's step-family was sent far away, together with his father. That wasn't so awful though. He didn't mind to have some time for himself. He took care of the house on his own schedule and he was able to gain something called peace.

Sometimes the royal family visited him and he enjoyed it. They often asked him of his opinions, later made him their minister. On other days the birds visited him, sometimes all of them, sometimes only one and also the fairy godmother came by quite often. They always had fun on these days, remembering the old hardships and how everything worked out alright in the end.  
Even though he learned that his fairy godmothers plan really was to make him the king but maybe this was even better.

And since this is a fairy tale we can also add, that the next years all new born children were healthy. The summer were full of sunshine, the winter not as cold as in the past. Everyone lived in peace and had a happy ever after!  
And for now, this is the end until someone else continues the story.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was that. Congratulation if you read all of it and Thank you a lot!  
> Leave a kudos if you liked it and a comment if you didn't. But also if you did.  
> Good night and stay awesome!


End file.
